So many emotions, not enough time...

Whomever said; "once you become a mother, you will find that you put yourself last" wasn't lying!

It seems I've been putting myself last in my life for too long now, not dealing with my own personal feelings, squashing the negative things in my life and only focusing on the positive, and my emotional baggage came bubbling over, like a volcanic erruption, at my Ob/Gyn appointment this afternoon.  Ugh.  Nothing like crying on the exam table!  ;(

It seems I have a lot of unresolved issues surrounding my mother's battle with cancer, my parent's divorce, living 2,000 miles from my family, the loss of David's parents, and a slew of other things and my emotions surrounding all these things are causing much of my constant exhaustion and weight-retention.  My doctor referred me to a Therapist and I'm very much looking forward to having someone to talk to on a regular basis about all this in the hopes that I can finally be at peace and move forward in a positive way.

I'm also really committing myself to eating more healthy and making the time to exercise so that I can start loving myself again on the outside.  :)

You can only give your best self when you are truly content with yourself and my family & friends deserve the best of me.  Wish me luck!


  1. I wish you only the best! I hope you start feeling GREAT again soon! Just for the record--I think you are beautiful inside and out and think you are already perfect! I need to start eating healthier and exercising again too! I started and after our vacation things have gone down hill from there...

  2. Good luck! As a mother, especially a SAHM, I think it's important to put yourself first at time because are so busy taking care of everybody else. I think eating healthy and exercising is a great idea. I know it helps me feel better about myself.

  3. "It will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end"

    I have no idea who said that, but when I went through my divorce in 2003, I swear it was my mantra.

    You are lovely on the inside and out, Amanda! I'm glad you're going to talk to someone. Please know that there are so many people that are willing to listen if you need it!

    Huge Hugs to Cali for you!

  4. I wish you luck in your journey!! I know that seeing a therapist really helped me when I was having a hard time. I hope it helps you too!

  5. Take care of yourself! It's hard to remember to do as a mommy, but it definitely is important. I'm glad you'll be able to work things out with a good therapist.

  6. Awww, good luck :). I'm sorry you have so many difficult things to work through, but I'm sure you can do it. And good luck with getting an exercise routine going. It is hard to get started, but I'll bet it would help you both physically AND mentally! I never thought I could train for a marathon with a toddler, but once it's a habit and a set routine, it is easy to stick with. It's so hard to take care of yourself sometimes when you're also taking care of your family.

  7. aw girl.. I'm very sorry you've been going through all this on your own.. I hope you can make great strides with therapy.. Take good care of yourself, sometimes is easy to forget about us as we're so busy caring for the rest of the world around us and letting our hurts and emotions go unfixed.. ((HUGS))


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